Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
