im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
