FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize