i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
