i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
