____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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