You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
