i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
