the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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