All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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