Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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