Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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