I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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