lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
