Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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