your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
