Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
