The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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