i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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