U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
