Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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