Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
