I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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