Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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