You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize