You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
