I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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