Apparently you make a good broom.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
