u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
