quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
