Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
be right there i have to get my cape
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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