It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
