I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize