And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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