Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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