We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
