Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
