Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
