you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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