I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
