youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
