Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize