I want to make a zoo with you.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
