I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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