Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
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A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We are two peas in an std pod
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
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"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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