Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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