Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
where does the pee come out of this thing
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize