I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
this boner is exhausting
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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