I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
