honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
