sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
