Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
