bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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