A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
