I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
