I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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