let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize