I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
