Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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