you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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