just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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