You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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